I understood it to be a FULL (when we registered for sheets).
 the bed is too fat |
When I called my sister today in a tizzy after trying to muscle on a FULL fitted sheet to my QUEEN mattress and asked her opinion on my bed size, she replied, "Oh, yes. mmmhmm. it's definitely a Queen. Much bigger than a full. 'Cause when I took a class on bedroom furniture at Yale they molded my eyes into skilled and trained bed size detecting machines."
OK, so she wasn't that smug. (she didn't even go to Yale, guys, that was a lie). It's been great since then, trying to meticulously fold the sheets back into their carrying case in hopes that Target will let me return them. Do you think there are sheet-folding elves hidden in the walls of Target? Have you seen how they package 100 yards of sheet into a bag the size of a tissue box? It's unnatural.
After my best efforts, I sheepishly handed my crumpled bag-o-sheets to the Target return lady and explained the situation. She keep looking at the bag, wary of its crumpled-ness. Just give it to the elves, lady. sheesh.
She must have remembered them, because now my bed is made with sheets that go on without trouble, and I am equipped with a few more facts that are must-knows for wifeys. The most interesting tidbit I discovered today? What a California King is. I'd wish for one if I was more confident that its enormity wouldn't make Josh and I lose touch. "Oh, you've been on that side of the bed for 50 years? I thought you'd packed up and left a long time ago. Sorry, our bed is a mile wide and you were out of hearing range."
Makin' progress.
Much love, Kris.
I wanna see your marriaged housing before i leave!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, I can't even make a bed right with the right size sheets. Haha. Love you Kris.
ReplyDeleteI want you to as well rebeky! we live so much closer now, but a 2 minute drive.
ReplyDeleteJulie, I'm glad you feel my pain.
I hope you don't mind that I'm blog stalking you. I think you're hilarious. My husband wanted a Cal King. I felt the same way and vetoed it because I didn't want to have a different zip code from him in bed. But let me tell you, I have regretted it ever since. Every time we go on vacation and sleep in a king bed, all that space is glorious!
ReplyDeleteI cried with laughter after reading this.... so freakin funny. You should make this a side job!
ReplyDeleteOh my heck I love your blog. I'm so glad to have discovered it. You are freakin hilarious. bye.
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